Comfy sweater, Hubby's dinners, almost Friday

1. I made an impulse purchase last month of a huge cowl-neck sweater. I got it at Marshalls for only $20, but I didn't need it. I didnt even try it on in the store - I held it up and said "ok, if it doesn't fit I'll bring it back". Well, not only did it fit and look FABULOUS on me, it's sooooooo comfy and warm... It's the kind of sweater you want to be wearing on a cold day. I am thankful that I have no buyers remorse about my new sweater...lol.

2. I got home y'day and Hubby had made - are you ready for this - Chicken Cordon Bleu! NOT frozen and thawed, NOT purchased at a local restaurant and placed on our dishes... he made it himself!!!! And, it was delicious!!! He is not one who cooks often and usually doesn't have confidence when he cooks, and yet he just whipped this up himself!!!! I am SOOO impressed!!! I am thankful for my Hubby and everything he does for me! Including his tasty dinners!

3. I can't believe how fast the weeks have been flying by lately. I mean, I blink and it's the weekend again. Not sure why it's going so fast but I'm not knocking it! I am thankful for the fast flying weekdays and that tomorrow is Friday!

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

great advice, decisions made, blogs done

1. My last post on my other blog was about having fear of things and not proceeding in life because of fear. The comments I got were just what I needed to start putting my mind at ease. I am thankful, very thankful for the comments on my blog post - they were so thoughtful and they really helped.

2. In regards to that same post, I was trying to make up my mind about something and I am happy to say I have done exactly that - and I'm content with how I feel about it. Again, it's not about our adoption - Gracie will get here eventually and she is already our daughter :) But it's nice to be able to feel good about decisions you make that initially paralyzed you with fear. I am thankful to not have the incredible fear (I initially had) associated with my decision.

3. I have had 2 full blog makeovers in the chute for (I swear to you) almost a year. I have procrastinated doing them because of the time factor - I just haven't had any time at all. Well, I spent literally 12 hours y'day doing blog makeover stuff. The TV was off, I was at the laptop, plugging away, and didn't even think to eat anything til almost 4pm. I have one blog completely done and the headers for two others in the works. The feeling I have from getting this accomplished is incredible. I am thankful to finally have the ball rolling on these and to have completely finished one!

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

my mother, my calm mind, my cooking hubby

1. I had a really great talk with my mother tonight, and it was incredibly helpful. I am thankful for the conversation, for my mother, and how well it went.

2. My mind has been racing left and right lately and right now it's pretty calm. I'm thankful for the peace and quiet in my head!

3. I came home tonight and hubby had dinner all ready for us - he did last night too. Cooking isn't really his forte but OMG it's been GREAT! I am thankful for my cooking hubby!!!

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in your comments!)

love notes, effort, money

1. My husband makes my lunch everyday and yesterday, on my sandwich wrapper, he drew a heart in magic marker. Today he drew a smiley face. I am thankful that I have such a thoughtful and loving hubby :)

2. I have often accused my thoughtful, loving hubby of not making an effort to come up with original things for us to do (I come up with many, many things, but he doesn't often seem interested in doing them). Well, he came up with something - a brewery tour! And he doesn't even drink! lol! But he does like the tours, so it's something we will both enjoy and have enjoyed in the past as well. I am thankful for the effort that he is going to in order for us to get off the couch and out of the house...lol.

3. I have been focusing on having money come to me, and, it's working. I'm thankful for the money that seems to be finding its way to me on a weekly basis :)

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

Too long....

Sometimes I forget to come here. When that happens, I feel guilty. I don't want to feel guilty about not being thankful because everyday I say my own thanks regardless of whether I type them out here or not. So now I'm curious as to why I feel guilty about not writing them out... interesting...

Ok, so here are quite a few thanks to make up for the days I was gone:

1. I am incredibly thankful for the people I've met through this adoption process. I have met many people in my life and haven't clicked with more than 5% of them. However with these women I've met through adoption, I have clicked with over 90% of them. I spent the entire weekend with two of them in Georgia, and the friendship we have formed is a bond I have not been able to establish with anyone in many, many years. I haven't flown on a plane since my honeymoon, and yet when these women wanted me to join them in July, I flew. I had happy pills, but I flew. Then again this past weekend, they wanted to get together and I jumped at the chance and flew again. People like these women will make you do things that you wouldn't normally do just to be with them. The best part is, I'm meeting new women just like these two all the time. I have many friends in this adoption world and with time the bonds can only grow stronger. I am honored to have met such amazing women on my journey to my daughter...

2. I have been trying to save money and spend less and make more money (did that even sound right? lol). I am thankful to say that I have become so aware of my spending that when I got a lg coffee this morning for $2.13 (I usually make my own but was running late), I added up all the days in a month that I would buy my coffee and it totaled $40. I was and still am amazed that I used to spend what is currently the equivalent of 1.5 times my current gas bill on coffee. Two months of coffee could pay for 3 months worth of heating/cooking gas in the warmer months - yet one vacuum pack of coffee is only $3.99 and lasts me 2-3 weeks. I am thankful for my newly found awareness of how much wasteful spending goes on in my life.

3. Recently my mother said something to me about how I have learned to take care of myself over the course of my life. I won't elaborate as to why it was mentioned or the conversation we were having, but it made me feel good that she recognized that in me. I am thankful for the mistakes in my life that have created the person I am today, and that I was afforded the opportunity to become a self-sufficient adult as a result of them.

4. Hubby makes me lunch every weekday now when he makes his own. This morning he told me that my sandwich was on the counter. I like my sandwiches wrapped in aluminum foil because it keeps the bread on the sandwich instead of it sliding around in a plastic baggie and getting mayo or mustard all over the inside. Anyway, when I went to get my sandwich to put it in my purse, he had drawn a heart on it in black magic marker. I love my husband so much, and he reminds me of how wonderful he is every day. I am thankful to have this wonderful man as my husband and partner for life.

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

new doctor, endo not likely, fast appointments

1. I went to my new GYN this morning and he is amazing beyond amazing! I am thankful to have been referred to him and that I have FINALLY found a great Dr!

2. My new Dr said that I most likely DO NOT have endometriosis and that what I'm experiencing is probably due to my body changing. He was very very confident that even if I DID have it, it would be so minute that it wouldn't be what is causing my symptoms and that instead, it's due to my hormones changing due to my age. His confidence and sympathy/empathy is enough to have me convinced, because he sat and talked to me for 30 full minutes before examining me. I am thankful to not have endometriosis.

3. He wanted me to have an internal ultrasound done just to be sure that all my "lady parts" are there and look normal...lol. When I went to the reception counter to schedule it, she asked me if a particular time of day was better, I told her that if it's in the next month, mornings are good (because my schedule is changing). She said "next month? How's tomorrow sound...". I have an ultrasound scheduled for 10am TOMORROW... can you believe it? I am thankful for a Dr who is so on top of things, he gets me scheduled for what I need, WHEN I need it!

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

Good times with friends, money saved, painless needles

1. I am thankful for the good friends I have who come to my house and eat my food, drink wine with me and make me laugh till my guts hurt. I love them and I am thankful for them!

2. I am really thankful for my ability to save money lately. I've sold books on eBay, saved by not ordering take out or getting fast food, and have also received one client for a new blog header. I am thankful for the money that is just flowing my way!

3. I had to get blood work this morning and it had to be taken from my hand because my veins in my arms are just too deep. I am thankful that I BARELY even felt the needle go into my hand!!!

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

Friday, $200, house guest

1. It's Friday people, do I need to say more??? lol...

2. It's only been one week (to clarify, a 5-day work week, not a total 7 days) since Hubby and I revamped our budget and decided no more take out or fast food in order to save money. I also haven't spent any money frivolously either. My total expenses since Monday have been $30.32 (that's just on stuff I didn't need, not on groceries or anything), and I even feel slightly guilty about that low number because I'm trying to keep it down to $20 per week. But after going over my budget and seeing what bills I've already paid and what was left over, I thought I'd make a miscalculation.... but I didn't. It turns out that I have saved, in one week of not buying BS stuff or eating my breakfast and lunch out of the house, a total sum of $200. I don't know how I did it, and I'm still skeptical that this is even the correct number, but I have an excess of $200 in the bank this week with nothing scheduled to use it for (no bills pending). This is a minor miracle. I am thankful for my efforts to not spend needlessly and for the incredible feeling of possibility I get for the future task of becoming "monetarily unencumbered".

3. Kristen is coming Saturday afternoon and staying over. I'm cooking up a great meal and she's bringing the wine! I am thankful to have made such a great friend (who lives relatively close) during this adoption process...

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

new blog, The Secret, good friends

1. My hours are changing to 9-5 as of November 1st (yay!) and that means I'll actually be able to cook real meals and eat them too by 7pm instead of getting home at 9 and then playing "guess what's for dinner" by choosing from a multitude of take out menus...lol.

I used to cook ALL THE TIME and LOVED it, but somehow it just stopped (Hubby only eating what you can find on a kids menu also put a damper on my experimentation). So after combining our finances over the weekend (only took us 5 years) and seeing the debt that we have together, I realize that we are broke as a joke and need to stop the take out 100%. And with my hours changing and the lack of excess funds, cooking is the answer for ALL our meals now, for a long time to come. I'm actually excited at the thought of cooking again because if I may be so self absorbed, lol, I am a DAMN good cook. I proved that to myself yet again by whipping up some tagliatelle alfredo from scratch (not the pasta, just the sauce). It was soooo good that Hubby remarked about it no less than 5 times. I have to admit, it was rather tasty (and it was Giada DeLaurentis' recipe, too).

So I'm excited - so excited that I'm going to start a cooking blog. I even bought the domain name for it... needsmoreketchup.com. How hysterical is that? lol! I can't take credit for it though, I thought if "needs more salt" and then he came up with the ketchup thing, and said it's from an old Odd Couple skit...lol. I liked it so much, I checked to see if it was available and it was - so I bought it! There's nothing there right now if you go to it, but I hope to get a blog going for it soon, and when I do, I'll post about it :) I am thankful to have found a renewed interest in cooking and to have been able to buy "needs more ketchup dot com"...lol.

2. Before "The Secret" came out, I was already a fan. It had been out a few months before it hit the media, and I'd already given copies of the cd's to my family in hopes that it might inspire some of them to help themselves. The people I knew would appreciate it the most are the ones who didn't really need it...lol. But rather than single anyone out specifically, I gave it to everyone.

I used to listen to the cd's on my commute to and from work, and I could listen to almost the whole thing just going one way. For some reason I stopped listening as often, and then, not at all. Now, I'm no cult member where it comes to following The Secret, but I just knew that it was at least helping me to stay positive and be goal oriented. I wasn't all crazy-psycho about it at all. But just recently I started listening to them again, and I realize why I liked them so much - because no matter how many times I listen, something in them speaks to me, to the place I'm at in my head at that particular moment. And subsequently, it does put me in a better frame of mind and helps to clear away the dark cobwebs that form over my ideas, goals, and visions of my future. I am thankful for the cd's and the effect that listening to them has on me.

3. I've been really down in the dumps about the wait for my daughter from China. I'm not trying to be a whiny baby about it at all, but there's only so much smiling nodding you can do before you find a rooftop and an AK-47. I feel like my other blog, the one that's supposed to be about all things China and what I'm doing while I wait, is totally stale and swimming in circles. I can't keep posting about nothing anymore. I mean, I have great hair now and everything and that was totally post-worthy, lol, (and apparently now so does Patricia! lol!), but I mean, don't want to keep bitching on the blog, and I don't want to keep acting as if everything is sunshine and rainbows, either. So I'm going to focus on my cooking and other stuff in the meantime, and post on Digging A Hole when I feel the urge.

After writing my post today. Maryellen called me to see how I was. I was floored that this woman - who just returned home with her beautiful Sophie only 2 weeks ago - had the time and presence of mind to pick up the phone to see how I was doing. It was fabulous of her to call, soooo thoughtful, and I appreciated it soooo much. I am thankful for the people I've met along this journey thus far (your gals included!) and I am thankful for Maryellen taking a moment in her busy day to think about me.

What are YOU thankful for?

(Tell me in the comments!)

my hair, and that's about it...

1. I'm thankful that my hair turned out great.

2. That's about it.

I'm in a really shitty mood right now because I figured out that the compassion and interest that my mgr showed me when I complained about the measly increase I got was a total scam.

I spoke to the owner of my company today and was told that the increase I was given was because my mgr specifically stated that that's what I should get. So when I was complaining to him about it a few weeks ago, he stared me in the face, acted surprised about the percentage when I told him, and told me he'd talk to her with me to try and get a higher percentage if I wanted him to. I told him that wasn't necessary and that I'd speak to her directly.

Good thing I didn't have a sit-down with them because I would have been very surprised to learn that all that concern was total lip service and that he sold me out. Add to that the fact that I was told that my particular increase was due to my absences - all of which I have had Dr's visits for, with the exception of 2. I'm not sure at what point this doesn't all become discriminatory against someone who has in the past year alone: been diagnosed with herniated and bulging discs at two different times, two miscarriages, 3 months of periods so painful I've missed a day of work and had to take pain killers, throwing my back out once, norovirus for 5 days where I could barely move (total of 9 but I worked the other 4), and had the stomach flu for two days.

Meanwhile, we have one tech here who sleeps every day at their desk. Yeah... I guess that's not so bad as long as they show up to get paid everyday. Oh, and how about the tech who takes two hours on each call, thus making the rest of us have to pick up the slack. Yeah, I guess that's not important either. I was actually told that some people don't get raises. Yeah, right.

I told the owner that she can just dock my pay on the days I'm not here because I'd rather not have to feel as if I have to come in when I physically can't. She refused and said she'd never do anything like that and "don't be silly". Well, if it'll get me the increase I deserve, then why not?. I also told her that being that I have another Dr's visit scheduled next week to determine whether or not I have endo (not that he can determine that right there on the spot), I might have to be out for a laproscopy in the near future. Turns out she too has had endo and has had the procedure, so she was aware of the pain associated with it all. Too bad that didn't help me any.

Oh well. I will continue to work here until I either hit the lottery, I get offered another job paying the same money, or the place burns down overnight. I'm actually hoping for all three things at this point.

Thanks for listening to me whine.

-H